The Third Makes A Herd – Reflections on My Upcoming Nephew (and his parents)

Dear Jeff and Lisa,

We are all old pros at the parenting thing. Between us, we have four awesome, beautiful and totally perfect kids. We have been through the crying jags, colic, co-sleeping, snuggling, first smiles, first steps and first days of First Grade. While I always feel a sense of sadness that distance separates us, it never surprises me when we get together that we are essentially living parallel lives.

Until this happened:

The day I found out about this miracle boy was the same day of Jen’s baby shower. So my BabyLust O’Meter was at dangerous levels already and then I overheard you hinting around about having another baby. When I found out it was true, I remember standing near the fireplace and I actually felt faint.

Faint with total joy and a wee bit of jealousy and left-out-ness.

Joy in that I was thrilled that after all the waiting, another healthy, beautiful little Norris was coming to the family. I cannot get enough of your kids!

Jealousy ’cause you know that I want to have 20 million kids. (Basically, all the orphans in Africa.)

Left-out-ness because every female, reproductively-able person in the family was having a baby but me. Wahhhh!

But I know that God was not blessing me with a bundle because he knew that a newborn on top of all the other life-upheavals would have been more than I can handle.

So I am so excited to be able to live vicariously through you guys!

Especially now that you are having a boy.

It’s not just that the family name carries on, because that is great, but being a female, it isn’t really a pride thing.

Boys are just different in a lovely way. You have these two little girls that always look like they’ve walked right out of a Gymboree add and now there will be a boy to add to the mix. Will he allow you to make him look all preppy, or will he be determined to be dirty all the time??? It is an exciting mystery!

Will you have an easy going boy or one with boundless energy? Will he give the girls a hard time like his dad did to Jen and I, or will he be a total gentleman?

And the most important question…will he be an IRL/CART/NASCAR champion or the president of the U.S.? Or both???

I just cannot wait to meet him, and I can’t wait to talk about the raising of little boys (and pick your brains about having a family of five!)

Regardless of what God has made him to be, if the past is any indication of the future…

I know he will be  completely and totally loved. He is already incredibly blessed to have you two as his parents.

Eagerly awaiting little Ryan and so proud to ride along this parenting train with two of the greatest parents ever,

Jill

Tags: baby boy, blessings, brother, great parents, love, sister, third child

Deadheading

Today I cleaned up and cleaned out the gardens that I have been painstakingly, lovingly nurturing for the last 6 years.

Here are some of my plant sweethearts:

Certainly I am going to take little cuttings of some of them along with us.

I really wish I could  take along  the beautiful people that we have come to love while we were living here. When we told my neighbors, who we are so close to, I could hardly look them in the eye.

Don’t even get me started on what our last Sunday at church was like. Let’s just say I had tears streaming down my face most of the service.

These last minute visits with our dearest friends and family that are stopping by mean so much. We have been so blessed with wonderful people to surround us, love us and lift us up.

I just can’t quite bring myself to write much more without tearing up. This is such a bittersweet week.

Tags: blessings, deadheading flowers, moving, saying goodbye

News So Exciting You'll Spill Your Breastmilk…

…because that’s what happened when I told my sister yesterday.

“The Lord declares to you that the Lord himself will establish a house for you.” 2 Samuel 7:11

“Who am I, my Master God, and what is my family, that you have brought me to this place in life? But that’s nothing compared to what’s coming, for you’ve also spoken of my family far into the future, given me a glimpse into tomorrow, my Master God! What can I possibly say in the face of all this? You know me, Master God, just as I am. You’ve done all this not because of who I am but because of who you are—out of your very heart!—but you’ve let me in on it.” 2 Samuel 7:18-21 (The Message)

I am not going to pretend I am King David or anything…but those were the verses that shot out from my Spirit when the news dropped in our laps yesterday.

Minister Man and I have been praying and also banging our heads against the wall trying to figure out the high speed train full of tangled conundrums that was threatening to strangle us. Problems like:

• Minister Man starts school full time at the beginning of August. He and I had decided that with all the loose ends of his company tied up here, he shouldn’t have to wait to start school.
• We don’t have our house sold, and are not in a solid financial situation where we can carry our mortgage and rent (which would be at least $1000/month for a 3 bedroom in a decent school district).
• Anthony is going to need to start school somewhere. The idea of him starting first grade in Seven Hills and then being uprooted was so undesirable. Our talk of homeschooling him while I now am a single parent trying to sell a house and take over the “front end” of Jason’s business was too much for me to handle.

So that left us the choices of Minister Man leaving  us, Minister Man leaving with Anthony to put him in first grade in Charlotte, but not his permanent school, or Minister Man staying here and waiting.

The solution that we came up with was to send him out ahead of us (for what would most likely be months and months). It was a solution we all hated.

But God is not in the business of splitting up families.

Minister Man had been talking to the Director of Admissions at RTS about the situation. The director didn’t like the situation either, and said he would keep an ear open to see what he could do.

Apparently, it wasn’t about what he could do, but about what God can do.

Because about 24 hours later, God showed us how he would establish a house for us so that we could stay together.

The director said he got an email from a couple that was hoping to rent their 2400 sq ft, split-level, 4 bedroom, 3 full bath house on an acre lot in a lovely part of town to an RTS student with a family as a ministry of love for so much cheaper then we were expecting to pay.

When Minister Man told me this, I was at the park with one of my dear friends. As he said this, I was so blown away that the world literally started to spin and I thought for a second that I was going to pass out. I didn’t realize what a big burden this train load of tangles was to me, or how in one instant, God said the word and it untangled.

Of course, we emailed this couple and said, “YES, YES!”

But they didn’t email back right away. Not that evening, not that night. Minister Man and I had to split ear buds and listen to one of his lectures just to keep our minds on something else because our minds were racing.

“This seems like it has God’s fingerprints on it, but what if they already gave it to someone else?”

This was the lie that had intertwined itself in our joy. After all the ups and downs of what has gone on during our house selling, I have to admit, I had a guarded heart. I wasn’t really going to let myself go there yet.

When I woke up the next morning, instead of a guarded heart, I woke up with a heart so grateful that I felt like a sparrow, ready to perch on the tree outside our window and sing my little heart out! I was just so full of joy for what I had already been given and how much God has touched and healed me, that I literally felt like I was going to explode into a shower of golden sparkles.

Boom! Sparkles!

As I floated around the house like Snow White, homeschooling the kids and skipping around singing high notes, Minister Man walked in the “school room” where we were reading Stella Nona and said, “It’s ours.”

“It’s ours.”

I am now convinced that any sentence starting with the word “it’s” is a good one.

It’s a boy!

It’s a girl!

It’s  a new car!

It’s the newlyweds!

It’s Finished! (My favorite “It’s” sentence (John 19:30))

Now…sweet to my ears – “It’s ours.”

Would you like a tour?

As I scroll through these pictures and look at where we will live for the next 3-4 years, I am overwhelmed with that question – “Who am I, my Master God, and what is my family, that you have brought me to this place in life?”

How does the God of the universe love me so much that he gave to my family and I more than we could ever hope to have? This house is completely more then we could have ever dreamed of.

How does the God of the universe show His direction for Minister Man’s life so powerfully that when he starts to doubt, God reminds him of all the doors that seemed impossible to open that have been knocked right off their hinges with God’s power of provision.

Why does the God of the universe care so much about feeding my soul that instead of taking away my special time with Him when I garden he gives me an acre of property with a large, already tilled garden that is already is growing kiwi fruits like mad?

How does the God of the universe love my children so intimately that the only thing the homeowner wants to know about us is how many kids we have so that he can hang a tree swing for each one of them?

GOD IS SO GOOD.

Who am I, my Master God  and what is my family, that you have brought me to this place in life?

We have a moving truck scheduled for Friday. This will be a week of great anticipation and also a time of sad goodbyes. God has put so many beautiful people in our life that have helped to bring us to this point. This week will be bittersweet in so many ways.

If you read this today…could you just leave your email in the comments section…and they say a quick prayer for us – both in thanksgiving and also for strength.

By leaving your email in my comments section, I would like to be able to just let you know how God is working in our lives. Most likely you are one of those beautiful people that I mentioned above…whether you know it or not. I would like to make sure that you get updated on everything and also sort of create a prayer chain around us.

If you are just a visitor to the site, let me know you are here so that I can just pray for you – I love having visitors come and read my ramblings too!

To be continued…

Tags: 2 Samuel, 2 Samuel 7:11, 2 Samuel 7:18-21 faith in God during hard times, God is good, God's provision, miracles, moving to charlotte, new house, praise and thanksgiving

Gummy Bears and High Chairs – The Main Event – Part 2

About ten days before your due date, I was just walking around, minding my own business when an indescribable feeling  just came out of nowhere and hit me so hard I almost fell right out of my hobo outfit. I realized that  my original hope that you would deliver on the weekend so that I could easily leave my family and come was not good enough.  There was something inside me that knew that it would shrivel up and die if I couldn’t be with you on the DAY you became a MOM.

Without hesitation, I told Minister Man all my feelings. He turned to me with a confused look and said, “I thought you were going to go no matter what.” It is so awesome to be married to a mind reader (or maybe he just knows me too well.)

This feeling, which caused me to run out the door toward you, my sweet little pregnant sister, was not to be ignored. During the drive to NYC, I couldn’t help but ponder the almost magnetic pull that tugged me from my little family and over toward yours.  It was a time to reflect not only of all the times you’ve been there for me and how you’ve come running even when I haven’t called, but also that as sisters, there’s just no getting around the fact that we share something that can’t be replaced, manufactured, or even described adequately. It’s not a friendship, which can come and go as life changes. It’s something much more profound, more permanent, more secure. I’m so glad I have a sister. You are one of the greatest treasures of my life.

And so, when mom called that morning, I  knew I was going—that’s all there was to it. Because you did the same for me. Because I had to hurry up and snuggle with you in the hospital bed and boss around your nurses. Because I had to see you, to make sure you were okay.

As you already know, there wasn’t a lot of quiet time in the car after the sun went down. Mom’s Tom Tom is a real jokester. The weird thing was that as we were driving down MLK Jr. Blvd. in Newark, NJ around midnight like it told us to, no one in the car was laughing. Mostly there was lots of screaming and cussing from the passenger and back seat and me at the wheel, ready to have a full blown panic episode.

By the grace of God we arrived at your hospital. I couldn’t wait to see you.

You said you wanted to see the “behind the scenes” pics, so here  are some of the highlights of the trip:

Here’s Mom during a rest stop, getting caught checking inside my adult version of an Ass Pack to see if all appropriate items are accounted for. I got a spanking for not having an Epi-Pen in there!

Here’s Mom and Dad in the parking garage. (Hey – here’s something you didn’t know…I was so flustered from the TomTom’s two hilarious hours of wrong turns that I entered the hospital’s parking garage through the exit. The parking attendant yelled at me. I said, “Bada Bing, Bada Boom” and waved my hand around. Dad said, “What did he say?” I just shrugged. I really like to pretend I am a real New Yorker when I am in New York. The weird thing is, after being in NYC many times, I still haven’t heard anyone say “Bada Bing.” (Oh yeah, and I “said” that in my mind.)

Going down the hall to see their baby…who is having a baby.

And here she is:

I know we have this joke about how I can never take a good picture of you, and you probably hate this one, but to me, that night, you were the most beautiful that I have ever seen you.  Somehow, after the chaos that we went through to get to you, when we arrived in your room, there was a beautiful peace. It was quiet and dim. You and Abel looked just radiant. The tranquil energy in the room washed away the anxiety within me. I was here. I was with you. I went into hug mode. I couldn’t help it.

Out of the dark, deep peace of that night, someone beautiful was about to be brought forth into the light.

Tags: close relationship with sister, close sisters, pregnancy, sisters, visiting sister during labor, younger sister

Gummy Bears and High Chairs – The Main Event, Part One

Dear Bug,

Speechless…

You know that doesn’t happen often between you and I, but I really am at a loss for words to adequately describe the last couple of days. But don’t worry, that won’t stop me from trying!

While Dad, Abel and I were waiting for Mom to finish visiting Mr. Snuggles in the NICU, a woman about your age checked in. Based on the crying and the Everest sized exercise ball her husband carried in, I could tell her time had come. I felt a whole range of emotion watching her – from excited for what was to come, to aching for her in her current pain.

Abel leaned over to me and whispered that you guys had all those birth “essentials “and your doula and didn’t get to use any of them. I have no idea what he was feeling as he watched this other couple acting out what you were hoping to do.

In that tender exchange I ALMOST hugged him. But I sat on my hands real quick and reminded myself that baked goods make him like me, never-ending hugging does not.

Hug jokes aside, the truth is that when he told me that, I felt a big loss for both of you. The dreams of Mr. Snuggle’s birth deviated so far from your actual hopes and dreams that Abel’s observation broke my heart. I wanted to lean against the wall and groan in pain with the lady in front of us.

It isn’t my place to go and tell your birth story, so I am going to show some uncharacteristic restraint and not really talk about your cervix or any of your other parts connected to it.

I AM, however, going to out and make a public declaration for all to hear, and that is: Preeclampsia sucks balls.

Don’t think you are alone in what happened. As you go around telling your birth story, you will find other sisters in your situation. You have joined a club of ladies who have survived a tough condition and made it through – and what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. That doesn’t mean that you don’t grieve the loss of the dreams that you and Abel had for the arrival of Mr. Snuggles though. If you feel a little disappointed and let down at some point, don’t feel guilty about it. You carried and brought a beautiful life into the world.  Here was your big chance in life to assist God in a miracle and you did. I can’t tell you enough how proud I am of you!

I know I can’t talk about your cervix, but I am going to tell you a little about my ovaries. My ovaries don’t remember my Preeclampsia fun, and someday yours won’t either. You will see 24 newborns all swaddled up in some metropolitan hospital nursery and your ovaries will shake so violently that some of the nurses will think you are a having small seizure.  I am telling you, I was surprised that I wasn’t shooting gametes/ova/eggs machine gun style after looking over that incredible number of newborns in one small place.

Are you reading all this Minister Man?

Anyway, what a privilege it was to be with you on your first “birth-day.” I went along with mom and dad in the Ford Escape from Sanity with the Demonic TomTom of Doom to arrive and see you and Abel smiling like two beautiful angels late in the night. There you were all swollen up from the fluids and the pre-eclampsia, just smiling and enjoying what was to come. I can honestly say, I have never been more proud of you then I was at that moment.

You may, just for a second, have catapulted yourself from the eternal 13 year old I see you as to a real grown woman who is having a baby and actually runs an international company and stuff.

Don’t get too excited though…it was just a brief moment of clarity.

But my pride in you in that moment will last a lifetime.

Stay tuned for the rest of the story…

Tags: birth story, Preeclampsia, Preeclampsia birth story, pride

Fighting A Pirate

I am in the kitchen, making dinner, minding my own business.

Out of nowhere, this pirate comes walking in the kitchen, peg leg and all, and threatens me to cook chicken nuggets or else I have to walk the plank. Arrrrrgh!

I somehow battle her into the playroom and am met with the tip of a sword.

I said, “Hey pirate! Is that Spongebob over there?” While she was distracted, I stole away her peg leg!

Then she shook up her attack and blinded me with her smile.

With that move, she won the battle, a broken peg leg and my heart.

Tags: girl pirate, kids playing pirate, peg leg, pirate, pretend play, pretending to be a pirate

Happy Fourth of July

Tags: fourth of july, lighting a sparkler in your mouth, sparklers

Results from the 3000 Push Up Challenge

It was about a month ago that I was all fired up to do push-ups and sit-ups and change my life.

The challenge lasted all of 7 days for me. Apparently, you cannot do 100 push-ups a day after doing zero push-ups a day for the last ten years and expect to remain injury free.

So I hurt my mid-back, which has always been a “sore spot” for me. (I am LOL-ing about my terrible joke, are you?? )

To aid my recovery, I decided to exercise while baking healthy things like coffee cake, sugar cookies, chocolate chip cookies, brownies and all sorts of other slimming foods. You won’t believe the calories you will burn as you lean into the oven with a cookie sheet, stir flour into butter, sugar and eggs, and reach from the cookie plate to your mouth. I seriously lost weight this month. It is a diet I am sticking with. Forget exercise.

But again, there is that nagging voice that does want me take better care of myself…maybe starting slowly and working up to something resembling exercise. I would like to run. I just don’t know how to start.

I would love to hear about any exercise programs you all are doing…something a busy mom can fit in her day, that costs NO money and is something someone can stick with.

Until I make the executive decision to actually tone up, I am playing Wii Fit with the kids. I am da bomb on Hula Hoops. My record cannot be beaten.

Off to make cheesecake exercise!

Tags: 3000 Sit Up challenge results, Alton Brown, baking, brownies, exercising for mom, Hula hoop, new exercise routine, pioneer woman coffee cake, running, The 3000 Sit Up Challenge, the best chocolate chip cookies, wii fit

The Hobo Tries Selling Her House

This is how I looked while trying to sell my house today. Pretty uncharacteristic. Pretty un-hobo-like. Actually, kinda pretty – go me!

Too bad the only people who got to see this face were the lone real estate agent who came over and my husband.

So I thought I would post it so all the internet can see that I do clean up well once in a while!

Tags: self portrait

Moving Rituals

As I am writing this, we are having an open house. A not very busy open house. My stomach is churning…what does it take?

I know it takes God’s timing. I guess I just have to figure out what it takes for me to find patience. Especially on those days where we have showings or open houses and nothing comes of it. GROAN.

I am tired of whining about it.

A long time ago, before we had the young ones, we moved from apartment to apartment like nomads. Somewhere in there we started this ritual of destroying/burning something prior to leaving.

The most memorable one was when we had this huge, manufactured wood desk that had really fallen apart over time. We didn’t really want it anymore, so we chopped it to bits and left it there, right in the apartment. We have burned a spaghetti squash in our apartment fireplace prior to leaving. I can’t even tell you why we did this. Maybe a little bit of it was immaturity. But part of it, I have to admit, is cleansing.

Well, we had somethings that were falling apart or had served their purpose around the house.

Like the changing table/dresser that was taking up a lot of room.  We were moving it downstairs to donate it, when it broke.

As a result, the ritual began again.

If he wasn’t called to ministry, I think he would have made an awesome demolition man.

Mini-Demo man is breaking everything up into little pieces…

so Demo-Princess can carry it to…

the raging fire in the backyard.

What did you ask? You don’t see me participating in all the festivities? That is because in my heart, I am grieving the changing table that I was chained to for close to four years. Where I blew on baby bellies and kissed tiny toes and wiped stinky booties. It held a lot of memories for me. I never thought we would say goodbye to each other in a raging inferno.

These three pyromaniacs don’t really get all that sentimental though. See that weird ball my 3-D glasses wearing son is holding?

It was quickly burnt to a crisp.

Surprisingly…

the beautiful Princess Aurora cooks up rather crisply too. I have to admit, I had a hard time watching her burn. I think at this point, my pyros were just looking for stuff to burn/melt/destroy, although I think the word “declutter” was the politically correct way to say it that night.

“Plastic to burn, black smoke to rise, makes a house stinky, inky and ready to buy.” Benjamin Franklin (would have said this if there was plastic back in his time.)

Tags: black smoke, changing table, decluttering your house, demolition, family fun, funny adventures, kids, moving, toys, trash burning